We live in a world where equal rights are increasingly on the top of every right-thinking person’s campaign list and it would be true to say that zombies can meet, fall in love and want to tie the knot in their own ghoulish way like any other couple. Therefore, it is only proper that consideration be given to the planning and execution of the perfect zombie wedding. It would seem that we here at VisualChaos are not the first to address this idea for such a maligned segment of society so after some research, here are some of the best pieces of advice and top images that we could find. I hope they provide inspiration for you all.
1. Choose a Suitable Location – OK, every zombie’s dream wedding would likely take place in a cemetery or crypt but these are not always easy to find so it is sensible to think about some alternatives. Don’t despair, an overgrown field with added ‘headstones’ can keep the flavour of the grave and make a stunning backdrop to your vows. An abandoned warehouse, abattoir or any tumbledown decaying mansion with a haunted appearance would also make a fabulous setting but don’t forget to conduct a full health and safety inspection in order that any guests that start the wedding in a state of not being dead actually finish it that way.
2. Choosing Clothing – Sartorial elegance is not always a watchword for your average zombie, given that a great deal of their clothing is old to the point of decay and has had to withstand the rigours of burial, resurrection, fighting, eating a very messy diet and the general stresses and strains of everyday ‘life’. But this doesn’t mean that your zombie bride or groom will want to be careless with their appearance. Although it unusual for zombies to conduct shopping expeditions, there are plenty of suitable garments to be found in charity shops that are both stylish and thrifty. The important thing is to wear them well before the wedding (you need not fear the superstitions surrounding the groom seeing the bride in her dress before the wedding – it is unlikely that most zombies could have more bad luck befall them) in order that they acquire the necessary tears, rips and gore stains that will make them personal to the lifestyle.
3. Hair and Makeup Decisions – There are some undeniable issues with the application of make up to the zombie bride that your average wedding makeup artist is likely to be ill-equipped to deal with. These are largely in the area of the easily removable nature of zombie skin and it can often be found that the application of makeup and the rubbing that this entails can cause more problems than it solves. Therefore it is is recommended that a zombie bride appear at her wedding as (unnatural) nature intended and dare to go barefaced. If they are feeling very self-conscious about such a bold step then blood makes a wonderful natural lip tint, and perhaps bridesmaids may be able to help in this regard. Some natural hair wastage is also likely to occur through the brushing and teasing that a non-zombie hairdresser is likely to employ and hair straighteners have been known to have disastrous side effects, including complete baldness, so again, a natural look is often best.
4. Selecting Flowers – well it wouldn’t be a wedding without flowers although they can be expensive and zombies often have concerns over budget as well-paid work for someone in their condition is hard to come by. A thrifty solution is to check around the bins of florists after closing and create your own bouquet / wreath for the bride and bridal party from what you can gather here. A little imagination and time can yield some stunning results.
5. Catering Options – it is acknowledged that most catering companies that would be selected for a non-zombie wedding would balk at providing the type of food that zombies tend to favour so it can be a good idea to advise your guests to eat before they come. Alternatively, a buffet of sorts can be provided if you are holding the wedding in a populated area and your guests are willing to ‘forage’ for their own drinks and snacks. This can be a sensitive area for most venues so it would be wise to keep a plan of this nature to yourselves to avoid unwanted attention from local residents and any weapon that they happen to have in their possession.
6. Entertainment – Zombies are not always endowed with a great deal of natural rhythm or indeed a full complement of limbs with which to demonstrate it or lack thereof, so dancing is usually not well received as an entertainment form. Try taking a look at the buffet idea in the catering section above if you are looking for a cheap and easy way to satisfy a large group of zombies in the mood for a party.